Last month I posed the question: Is social media for extroverts only? The ensuing discussion was lively and even gave impetus to a new blog, The Mighty Introvert by Mark Dykeman, who says that “social media and the Web can level the playing field for introverts.”
As several pointed out in the comments to my original post, introversion is not the same as shyness, although they sometimes go hand in hand. The key difference between extroverts and introverts has to do with the source of their creativity and energy. Quite simply, extroverts draw energy from being with people; introverts need lots of alone-time to recharge. (Don’t know where you fall on the spectrum? Take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.)
The consensus from commenters is that social networking can be a venue where introverts shine–people like Laura Thomas of Dell, for example, who said this about being an introvert: “It’s always struck people as strange to hear that when they look at my chosen profession of communications, but even us quiet types do like to converse with the world around us.”
Jennifer Navarrette noted that blogs or written communication tools are not the only avenue where introverts can shine. “I’ve always been somewhat of an extrovert so it surprised me to hear several of our SA Podcasters describe themselves as introverts. These are folks who are consistently producing content over several different shows. They may not be comfortable on stage, but they are extremely comfortable utilizing the Social and New Media tools available.”
“I would expect many introverts to be extreme evangelists in social media,” Hjortur Smarason wrote. “The reason is that many of them finally have a medium where they can blossom and fulfill a need for social interaction that has been neglected out in the ‘real world’. It’s not fast thinking, body language or tone of voice that counts in social media. It’s thought, content and context.”
Brazen Careerist Penelope Trunk recently interviewed Bryan Person (you may know him on Twitter or his blog as bryper) for The Boston Globe. (Dec. 9, 2007–Social networking tools give introverts opportunities to connect, lift careers) She wrote:
Person echoes what many people have said about online communication, which is that it’s the grease that oils the gears of in-person communication. And this is why young workers today are better at connecting and interacting face-to-face than many of their older counterparts. “Social media would not be nearly as satisfying if people could not be face-to-face as well,” Person says. In fact, Person used Twitter to get a gathering of friends. This would only work because such a wide range of people are using these tools to find real connections that come face-to-face.
I’ve heard from several introverts who have said that being active in social networks online has helped them be more confident in face-to-face interactions. Is that your experience as well? Tell me about it in the comments.
While most people peg me as an extrovert (is it the pink boa? I wonder), I actually have a high degree of introversion and need to balance time interacting with people at events with at least equal amounts of quiet time. So I really identified with Kara Soluri’s comment that “after a long social media conference, the introverts are the ones running away from all the extroverts heading to the bar.”
December 10th, 2007 at 8:56 am
I wholeheartedly agree. I am a bit shy around people in person, and being social online has helped me bridge that gap and make things much easier and more relaxed in person.
Social media allows you to be yourself without fearing on-spot judgement. It eliminates many of the distracting factors in face-to-face meetings: appearance woes, self consciousness, etc.
The power of that small act is truly amazing… think of the latest Oprah story of the woman who credits her discovery of online friends and forums as her motivator in losing 530 lbs and saving her from morbid obesity.
http://www.oprah.com/health/weight/slide/20071128/slide_weight_tows_101.jhtml
December 10th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I think there are several personality types that thrive on internet social media, but there are some that really don’t, although I don’t have any research or data to back it up.
Classic type-A personalities, people that are assertive, confident, persuasive, focused and as a result sometimes intimidating and overbearing, do not do well on the web, because so much of their personal power and identity has to do with their personal physical presence. As you said, things like personal appearance, body language, tone of voice, conversational tactics don’t matter on the web, or don’t matter as much.
Perhaps this has something to do with the neutralization or diffusion of traditional power-holders that we seem to be seeing from Web 2.0.
It’s the thinkers and feelers that tend to do better because we relate and cooperate better to each other in a group and self-direct as a group without having someone “in charge” or even wanting someone in charge.
December 10th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Fascinating topic, Connie. I’ve noticed that my Chatty Lennie persona on Twitter and elsewhere in social networks has opened me up to more extroverted interactions in the real world, where I’m usually content to stick to myself, gaining strength from solitude that I spend on interactions. What socnets help me to realize is that the people around me at a party or on the bus are just as likely to be interesting and kind as the folk whom I encounter online, so why not give them a hello? I enjoy the fact that this is exactly counter to the fears of Internet Luddites who warn that increased time online threatens to turn us all into nonfunctioning loner cyborgs. It’s almost as if the Internet is helping me become more human, or at least more myself. Imagine that!
December 10th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
You know, it’s funny the way stories come out. Based on my initial discussion with Penlope, I thought the article she published yesterday would focus more on how online social networking isn’t just for the introverted, but that extroverts make good use of it, too. She did get to that point at the very end — and I’m glad she did — but it wasn’t the thrust of the story.
While I have some introverted tendencies, I’m certainly more of an extrovert. In events I organize and attend, I absolutely feed off the energy of others.
But I also appreciate that online tools allow introverts to assert themselves more than they might otherwise do in face-to-face settings.
Great post, Connie, and thanks for the mention!
December 10th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Thanks for the mention, Connie!
December 10th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
“My name is Critt. I am a recovering introvert…â€
http://gotcritt.com/2007/12/09/thank-you-bryan-person/
That’s the opening to a brief thank you to Bryan for, among other things, introducing me to Twitter. But now, the rest of the story…
Okay, not the whole thing, but you’ll get the idea…
Bryan hooked me with Twitter, at Berkman Blogs, in June. He followed with a TweetUp, in July, where I met Joe. Joe had a TweetUp BBQ, in August, where I met Laura Fitton @Pisctachio. Laura had a TweetUp BBQ, in September, where I met Len… I started following @conniereece because Len and @Pistachio said so… I met Connie in Austin, for Blogtoberfest San Marcos.
Does being active in social networks online help introverts be more confident in face-to-face interactions?
Indeed I am more confident in approach. However, the best change has been the ability to get to the heart of a conversation quickly. I recently had a few minutes each with Jeff Pulver and Julia Roy. I came away from those moments feeling a deeper connection. Why? Because, from my online experience with them, I knew exactly what more I wanted to know of them, personally. I asked, personally and they answered, personally.
Works for me
December 12th, 2007 at 11:41 am
IM and the web have been a social outlet for introverts/shy types for years. Social media is just an outgrowth of that. Nothing to see here, moving along …
December 16th, 2007 at 11:08 am
I’m an introvert, but also a type-A personality in many ways. I’d say that social networking really does allow introverts to thrive. The ability to interact in a way they can turn on/off, as well as get the full stream when they need it is perfect.
Another upside for introverts is that socnets, as socially driven as they appear, don’t require any particular level of sharing nor does it require them to be personally reachable.
For me, the flow of ideas and conversation is wonderful and has really helped me expand my visions of possibilities.
January 19th, 2008 at 9:36 am
This is such a great conversation, and one that can only happen in social media. I find that I get ideas and stimulation by going out and giving speeches and meeting with clients, but when I come home I need serious recharging time. The danger is that the recharge time is so comfortable and so nice that you start to really dread the travel time. But as a breast cancer survivor I think it’s like chemo, you do it because it helps you survive.
January 19th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I find the extrovert/introvert line a hard one to draw for myself. I’m a self-conscious young mother who prefers a book to a drunken party, social get-together, or dinner party. I have to have alone time to recharge or I feel like I’m gonna break down. But ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll tell you I’m outgoing and the life of the party. The first time I heard someone say that I think I laughed at them. But then I realized that once I’ve become comfortable with people I really probably do appear more of an extrovert.
I think my online networks (Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace) have really helped this. I find moreso with Facebook and Twitter that I’ve built a network of friends that are there for me. When things go wrong they are there to support me. They encourage me. And we keep in better contact through the networks than if I would have to call them or meet up with them to keep in touch. The social networks have built my confidence and repaired it during bad times where I can be comfortable in social situations where when I was younger I was terrified of those same situations.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Good post. You make some great points that most people
do not fully understand.
“The key difference between extroverts and introverts has to do with the source of their creativity and energy. Quite simply, extroverts draw energy from being with people; introverts need lots of alone-time to recharge.”
I like how you explained that. Very helpful. Thanks.