Every Dot Connects

At every beauty pageant a contestant is chosen as Miss Congeniality, the young woman who best exemplifies the spirit of the competition. Last month my cousin Jordan Chanley won the Miss Congeniality award in the Miss New Mexico competition. I’m not proud or anything.

While the MakeConnieLaugh in 140 Characters or Less Contest was not a pageant, it did motivate some very beautiful people to encourage someone in their community–me–who was feeling down.

And nobody, I mean nobody, got in the spirit of things more than Marti Lawrence (Twitter name: Marti_L), who is hereby crowned Miss Congeniality.

Marti had a bit of advantage, since she is a humor columnist and author of Queen Klutz, a collection of essays about her misadventures.

On her blog, Enter the Laughter, Marti says, “I write humorously about bad luck, being a klutz, cars that hate me, life, love and family. I’ve broken both ankles twice, amputated my right index finger and had it reattached. I’ve had the transmission fall out of a Dodge van while driving down the interstate. My teenage son wrecked my car, resulting in an E-Bay auction for the $2,000 French Fry, which caused the wreck. If I couldn’t write about this stuff being funny, I’d be in a rubber room.”

I have not even counted up the many one-liner entries Marti tweeted during the two-day contest, which included her birthday celebration. Here’s a sampling:

5 out of 4 people have trouble with statistics.

If you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”

Dyslexia: it can warn without striking!

I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the June Flower.

Corny? Yeah. But Marti plunged into the contest as if she were bungee jumping off the Tallahatchee Bridge. I simply could not let such exuberance go unrewarded.

So, Marti. A softcover copy of The Age of Conversation is headed your way. Many, many thanks for Making Connie Laugh!

Oh, and I’m sorry @EvilBambiOhio assaulted your husband’s car today. But I figure you’ll just turn it into another chapter in another book.